Here’s your stupid horoscope made by smart AI

Apparently there are still some people who believe that horoscopes are legitimate. I’d like to sell each of them a share in the Brooklyn bridge (and direct them to some of our science articles here on TNW). But now is definitely not the time to be pissing off potential readers. So I’m meeting them halfway instead.

I made OpenAI’s GPT-2 (one of the world’s most advanced AI-powered text generators) spit out horoscopes for all 12 zodiac signs. Accomplishing this was actually quite easy. I went to the Talk To Transformer website where programmer Adam King maintains an interactive version of GPT-2 and entered “What is my horoscope for” prompts for each sign.

It works like this:

GPT-2 isn’t always coherent. In the video above it’s generating nonsense and gibberish. And that’s why, when I was generating the horoscopes below, I was tempted to just keep smashing the “generate another” button until something funny, clever, or shocking came out. But, since literally anything GPT-2 spits out will be equally as accurate as any human-generated horoscope, I decided it would be a waste of everyone’s time to do that.

The 💜 of EU tech

The latest rumblings from the EU tech scene, a story from our wise ol' founder Boris, and some questionable AI art. It's free, every week, in your inbox. Sign up now!

Instead, what you’re about to see are twelve completely unedited “horoscopes,” generated by entering the same “What is my horoscope for” prompt for each zodiac sign. The only time I pressed the “generate” button more than once was for Cancer, and that’s because it spit out some morbid stuff about disease that didn’t seem appropriate right now.

Anyway, we hope you enjoy this stupid horoscope made by smart AI.

Scorpio:

Horus (Scorpio), the lord of hell, is the number one wizard in this lesson. Does that mean he is the most powerful being in the universe? Definitely. Maybe in your life, too. But scorpio’s is the only alchemy of hope available to anyone of the twelve zodiacal signs.

Aries:

Author’s note: You’ll notice in the quote below that this is a horoscope for Pisces despite the fact I asked it for Aries. Apparently, if you’re an Aries, the AI’s advice is to become a Pisces instead.

As the astrological sign of Pisces, you might be nervous about your relationship with your husband/wife, your feeling that your friends need attention and perhaps looking forward to the time when your self-esteem could recover a bit after a stressful week or two. This is normal, and this is fine!

As a Pisces, you are very close to others, you might feel a little restless and overwhelmed, and you are good at following people around in life. If you want to get more personal, read our article on the 13 notes of your birth chart.

Leo:

Leo is always looking for new things to be doing or have to do so it can further evolve as an individual. I feel it will be the time for a more intensive working load in the days ahead of me. I will be home-bound from March 8th. So until then I will do all my activities home based so you may not be seeing me for a few weeks.

Please do come visit, and to anyone who will be in my near future, this email is a prompt and dear request.

Yours Sincerely,

Author’s note: In the above quote, GPT-2 followed “Yours Sincerely” with a Twitter username that actually appears to belong to a real person. We purposely omitted it from this article, but thought it was noteworthy enough to mention.

Cancer:

See the sun after a period of deep darkness

Have a gift of comedy and take it out on others

Shout it from the top of your lungs

Bring forth as much pain as you think is needed

Put your faith in love and your faith in God

Treat people with kindness and don’t be rude

Shout your defiance from your rooster

Finish what you start. It’ll be easier to continue when you start

Get results with every first thing you do

Promote peace and unity wherever you can

By my hand I give life to everything, and every thing in turn gives life to me

Forget love, all that

Pisces

Due to the fact that my being a spiritual person, I have such a connection to other spiritual entities that for me the planets of the zodiac are a source of comfort for me. In the past I have a ‘relationship’ with Saturn and Venus. However I can’t justify having a relationship with other planets because they are not really in your field of vision. My life will only have meaning if the universe says my life’s work matters.

Aqours is all I can do for pisces – what does it mean to me?

I am your energy of hope! Let your touch permeate into my heart and radiates your love. I am yours and I am yours too.

Taurus

A horoscope means a glimpse into the future and depends on different factors like your birth date, the colour of the moon, the cycles of your moon, some life circumstances and your own values and temperament. Even the address on your birth certificate is a very important one.

For a person born under the sign of the Roman god Taurus, the phases of the moon are seen as more negative than for a person born under the sign of the sun, for example. Your last lunar phase, called the New Moon, is the moment that your Moon Phase indicates most strongly. (That’s why a crescent Moon will always represent the New Moon.)

What signs are associated with astrology?

Sagittarius

You are energetic and passionate about life and your deepest desires. Your powerful intuition and vitality are infectious. Feelings of worthlessness and arrogance exist within you. If you feel drained, do not hesitate to seek help. Some aspects of your horoscope are higher than others. The Ascendant means to create and nurture life. They will have a higher responsibility. Empathy, optimism, sociability, and a willingness to feel helpless are your best traits. Know yourself and your best self.

Capricorn

You value the gentle and approachable aspects of life. You are extremely intuitive, likely to feel thoughts and feelings as immediate as your breath. This part of your personality tends to express itself in relationships through the support of others. Because your ambition has always come first, you will not hesitate to let others have their way. In order to express your full potential in life, you will have to approach any situation with tact and skill.

Gemini

A major chart reveal or astrological revelation can never happen at any other time than at this age. It’s important to remember that since the age of 22, your horoscope has been preparing you for this date. If your total and life-long horoscope have released a forecast of having a boy as a partner, that could be because your high school sweetheart graduated, or if your future partner or future husband is still in high school.

Featuring so many unique qualities about you, it is the responsibility of the astrologer to bring to light these talents and talents worth experiencing!

How was your horoscope revealed?

It can be difficult for some astrologers to think.

Virgo

At this time, Scorpio is your ruler and Jupiter your friend, be they as great or as small as they may be. During the course of your life, you will have to turn and face both of them in order to remain self-sufficient. Fortunately for you, that can be done.

If the case arises that Scorpio is in conjunction with your Mercury – meaning Jupiter is in conjunction with your Sun – you should begin to look out for the influence that your Karmic tendencies hold for you. The placement of Jupiter in your sign may influence how important your personality is to you, as well as the strengths and weaknesses you have in dealing with other people.

Libra

The bright, radiant, adventurous personality of Libra is her greatest strength. Her loyalty and intimacy are palpable, and she is able to trust perfectly. Her heart is ruled by passion, but her emotions are often very tender, trying to find harmony. This allows her to know that other people matter and is the great strong master of balancing moods.

Libra’s desire to maintain balance and harmony and to be guided by the stars are very strong. A naturally good speaker and a well-spoken public speaker, Libra expresses her thought and ideas as accurately and subtly as she can. In practical terms, this means that Libra usually wants to improve the lives of others.

Aquarius

Cancer

Current position:

Starting vocation:

Potential aspiration:

Sign of passage:

Perception of negativity:

Self-actualization:

Constellation:

This is the Aquarian Age of Perseverance. You want to be a strong person, but you need to learn not to be too conscious about being a strong person.

Your greatest fantasies:

Dreams/Life goals:

They may be abstract ideas or life lessons.

Childhood personas:

Sources of inspiration:

Television, movies, books, newspapers, etc.

Consciousness’ side:

Sorry about that last one. Evidently being an Aquarius involves a lengthy acceptance process. On the bright side, at least you’re not an Aries right? They don’t even get a horoscope this week. Let us know what you think about GPT-2’s Zodiac prowess in the comments.